User talk:Ezekielfan22
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the File:Family guy.jpg page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! SOMEGUY123 (talk) 15:45, June 8, 2014 (UTC) Blacklisted Subject Due to excessive similar posts, certain story elements are now blacklisted, or no longer allowed on this website. Please make note of this. Your post has been deleted due to being similar to previous posts. For more information on this, please read the rules. If you wish to post about these subjects, add them to Spinpasta Wiki or use the Spinoff Appeal. The first offense of this rule is only a warning, but a second offense will result in a ban. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REUPLOAD YOUR PASTA. If you upload it again without admin authorization, you'll receive a 1-day ban from editing, as per the rules. I can retrieve your story for you if you'd like, but just know as it is a lost episode pasta and violates the blacklist (rule four I believe) You will be unable to post it here. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:24, June 8, 2014 (UTC) I read your story, "I Remember What You Did" and I hope you will read my review. In all honesty, it wasn't that great, but work at it and you'll get better. 1. Lack of detail has me struggling to picture the sitation. Choppy sentences make it difficult to read in the first paragraph. 2. The dialogue doesn't flow or feel natural. The characters don't seem real. 3. Burying him in the backyard was the worst decision they could have made after deciding not to call the police. Somebody will notice the kid isn't around anymore, and the parents will be the first supects. Arnold's line of thinking doesn't add up; the police won't think he was kidnapped unless someone reports a kidnapping, and they'll definitely perform a thorough search. 4. Years go by with no one seeing him and no one's the wiser? I can see a summer for camp, but years of him not turning up at school or seeing his friends? And only NOW they put the "report him kidnapped" plan into motion? 5. It's a nitpick, but Amelia is ten and still says "Mommy" and "Daddy". 6. Christ alive, they raised a little demon, didn't they? No police for this little girl. No siree. 7. Wow, AND a genius! Usually, it would take someone a few years older to concoct and enact a plan like this. 8. This happened when Amelia was SEVEN? That's far too old for her not to remember her brother, especially considering it's only three years hence. 9. I thought Mikey's death was an accident. They just didn't want to go to prison for neglectful homicide. 10. "Then, Karen died." Not, "Karen drew her last breath," or, "Karen's heart played its final beat." Imagery is a powerful tool that needs to be used at this pivotal moment. 11. The "laid" in one sentence needs to be "lay," just so you know. A cupcake lay beside her. The last bit is fine, honestly. It's a 4.5/10 for me. It wasn't very engaging for me, and to be honest, it was boring. Sorry if I seem harsh, but I'm just being honest. The best advice I was ever given was to read books often. It'll defininitely help with all manner of writing flaws, trust me. Agnostic Priest 20:08, June 21, 2014 (UTC)